


Jim and Myself #28

by toyhto



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Five Year Mission, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Oblivious James T. Kirk, or I hope so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 07:38:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11618988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toyhto/pseuds/toyhto
Summary: Someone on the Enterprise is writing smut about the captain.





	Jim and Myself #28

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this was so fun, I hope reading is, too.
> 
> This story is betaed by ambruises, thank you so much! All the mistakes are, sadly, still my own.

”Captain, there’s something I think you need to know.” Uhura’s voice sounded steady and serious through the speaker, but there was something odd underneath it, almost like the lieutenant was trying to bite back a smile.  
  
Kirk straightened his back. He only wished it would be nothing too pressing. He had just taken a long shower after a particularly frustrating shift – damn those universal translators that always missed something extremely important in the middle of a diplomatic crisis – and he was already sitting in his bed, half-naked and more than ready to go to sleep. “Tell me, Lieutenant.”  
  
“Sir, it seems that someone on the ship is writing erotic fiction about you.”  
  
He blinked. “Repeat that, please.”  
  
“Very well,” Uhura said, sounding rather glad that he had asked. “Someone has written a story about you, sir, and it’s quite erotic.”  
  
“What do you mean,” he paused to draw a deep breath, “ _erotic?_ ”  
  
“Well,” Uhura said slowly, “it took Mr. Spock about three seconds to shut that screen down, so I didn’t have time to see too much. But as your communications officer, I would say the story was quite explicit.”  
  
“You mean that someone is writing about me…”  
  
“Having sex, sir,” Uhura said. “Maybe you’re familiar with the concept _smut_ , sir.”  
  
Kirk pressed his eyes closed. This was a bit too much. He had already saved a planet today. Surely there was a rule of some kind that suggested no starship captain should have to deal with a diplomatic crisis and his crew writing smut about him on the same day.  
  
“So,” he said, “you said something about Mr. Spock. Please, don’t tell me Spock saw that story as well.”  
  
“I’m afraid he did, Captain.” Now Uhura definitely was smiling. “Mr. Spock and I were going over the report about the diplomatic incident and linguistic challenges we encountered today, when the computer suddenly showed us this… story. I’m sure Mr. Spock has already figured out the reason for the malfunction.”  
  
“Spock read it too? The story about me… being intimate?”  
  
“I’m not sure, sir. As you can imagine, he was rather shocked. Both his eyebrows went up and he went really pale. If I may speak directly, sir, I’d go to talk to him if I were you, just to make sure he’s okay. But he just froze for a few seconds and then shut the screen down. It’s possible that he was too shocked to really read it.”  
  
“Oh my fucking… sorry, Lieutenant. This is just…”  
  
“I _know,_ sir,” Uhura’s happy voice said. “But just so you know, I think it was written pretty well. I got the impression that the person who wrote it has a genuine crush on you.”  
  
“I think I need to talk to Mr. Spock," Kirk said. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Lieutenant.”  
  
“Of course, sir.”  
  
“And one more thing, Lieutenant.”  
  
“Yes, sir?”  
  
“It would be nice if you didn’t mention this to anyone.”  
  
“Well,” Uhura said quite slowly.  
  
Kirk took a deep breath. “Okay, from now on try not to talk about it. If you can. Kirk out.”  
  
He put a shirt on and left his quarters. Maybe Spock could track down whoever had written that story, and then Kirk would find that person and have a private conversation with her about how having fantasies about the captain was perfectly normal, but those fantasies probably shouldn’t be stored in the ship’s central computer.  
  
  
**  
  
  
“I just don’t understand who’d write something like that,” Kirk said and then glanced at Spock who still looked quite pale in his green way, “and I know you don’t either, Spock, this definitely isn’t your kind of thing. I feel bad that I’m even talking about this with you, it’s just that I don’t know whom else to talk to. This subject is probably very uncomfortable for you.”  
  
“Captain –“  
  
“No,” he said and raised his hand, and Spock closed his mouth, “I know you’re going to say that I can discuss with you whatever is on my mind and that my physical and mental well-being is part of your job and all that stuff. You don’t have to, and, you know, certainly dealing with _this_ isn’t a part of the job. Spock, someone’s writing _smut_ about me.”  
  
“Captain, I’m afraid I must –“  
  
“I appreciate it,” Kirk said, “I really do. You’re a good friend, Mr. Spock, for putting up with me and all my crazy problems. You would never get into a mess like this, would you? So, do you think there’s a chance that you might find out who the writer is so I could talk to her and ask her to be a bit more careful in the future?”  
  
“Captain,” Spock said, and now he looked almost terrified. Kirk immediately felt bad. Spock was probably utterly uncomfortable with the idea of finding out who the writer was, since Spock really didn’t talk about sex at all, under any circumstances. It wasn’t very long ago that Spock had almost got himself killed during _pon farr_ because he hadn’t been able to make himself tell Kirk that the problem had to do with sex.  
  
“You’re right,” Kirk said, when Spock was still frowning at him, probably trying to find right words to tell him that this topic was just a bit too much for his first officer, “I should probably ask someone else. Or maybe I could ask Uhura. She didn’t seem to mind talking about this with me earlier. I’ll let you know if something new comes up. And Spock?”  
  
“Yes?” Spock’s voice didn’t sound too good.  
  
“Thank you,” Kirk said and gave his best smile, “for being there for me.”  
  
Spock just stared at him. Well, he understood that. His Vulcan first officer was probably the last person on the whole ship who would write smut about him.  
  
  
**  
  
  
Having a professional conversation about the problem with Lieutenant Uhura turned out to be surprisingly difficult, mainly because Uhura’s eyes seemed to smile even if her mouth was adequately serious. Kirk wouldn’t have minded the smiling, had it not made him blush. He reminded himself firmly that he was a thirty-four year old starship captain and there was absolutely no reason to blush over something like this.  
  
“I’m sorry, sir,” Uhura said, “I don’t think I can find out who wrote that story. Why don’t you ask Spock?”  
  
“You know how he is about… things like this. I don’t want to bother him with this more than I have to.”  
  
“I understand, Captain. It must be pretty difficult for him to think about someone imagining you like that.”  
  
Kirk tried not to blush. He really tried. “I have to find out who it is so I can talk to her. Don’t you have any idea?”  
  
“ _Her,_ Captain?”  
  
He frowned. “Excuse me?”  
  
“How do you know it’s a woman?” Uhura asked. She seemed to have forgotten that she was supposed to be hiding her smile.  
  
“So, a _man_ is writing… fiction about me?” Kirk asked and tried to sound professional about it.  
  
“I don’t know, sir,” Uhura said. “I didn’t have time to figure that out. I only meant that the writer could just as well be a man. And the story was written in the first-person narrative.”  
  
He blinked.  
  
“Like it all was happening to the writer,” Uhura added, and he tried to say that he knew the term, the lieutenant didn’t have to explain it to him, but it seemed that his throat had suddenly gone very dry. “And as I said, the writer must be pretty talented. The story made me feel like the narrator really was there, with you, in that exact moment.”  
  
“Having sex with me,” Kirk said and then coughed.  
  
“Yes, sir,” Uhura said slowly, “having sex with you. That’s what the story was about.”  
  
“I can’t believe it.”  
  
“I can, sir,” Uhura said. “Half the crew has a crush on you. But I must admit that I’m a bit surprised about how intimate the story seemed to be. I only got a quick glance, but it made me feel like this person really knew you. They’re probably just a very good writer.”  
  
Kirk pulled his shoulders back. He wasn’t going to panic. He was an adult. He could handle someone fantasizing over him, even if he didn’t know who it was. And if he was going to panic about it anyway, he would do it later, alone. Or perhaps he would ask Spock to come over and play a round of chess with him. That would calm him down.  
  
“Thank you for your input, Lieutenant,” he said and stood up. “I’ll be in my quarters if something new comes up.”  
  
Walking to his quarters, he wondered if perhaps he ought to try to forget the whole thing. So what if someone used their free time to write smut about him? He could take it. It was nothing new for someone to have a small crush on him. On the contrary, sometimes he wondered if Spock was the only person who genuinely didn’t find him attractive at all, ever. And writing fiction surely was as good a way to use free time as any. Maybe in a day or two he would have a laugh over this.  
  
  
**  
  
  
“Lieutenant,” he said and sat down next to Uhura. It was fortunate that Uhura was sitting by herself at the dinner table for once. He lowered his voice just in case. “What did it say?”  
  
“Sir?” Uhura sounded genuinely surprised.  
  
“The story,” Kirk said as quietly as he could, but Uhura just kept smiling at him and he cleared his throat, “the story about me having sex. What exactly was in it?”  
  
“Ah,” Uhura said. “Captain, I don’t remember _exactly_ what was in it.”  
  
“Maybe you could remember something.”  
  
“If you insist,” Uhura said, and her voice seemed to hint that she was quite glad Kirk insisted, and that she also thought Kirk would regret it soon. “I think you were lying on your back on the… I suppose it was a bed, Captain. And the narrator was holding you. Quite tightly, if I remember right. But very gently. I think the two of you were in love.” Uhura winked at him. “In the story, of course.”  
  
He stared at Uhura. Surely there was a regulation that forbid senior officers from winking at their captain.  
  
“But actually I think you should ask Spock,” Uhura said. “You know how fast he can read. Logically, there’s a good chance that he managed to read much further than I did.”  
  
“Very well,” Kirk said and stood up. He felt nervous at the sheer thought of asking Spock about it, standing right in front of Spock’s face, looking his first officer and friend in the eyes, holding Spock’s gaze as he would calmly request that Spock tell him what exactly was being done to him in the erotic story that Spock had, possibly, managed to get quite a peek of. But nervous or not, he could do it. He was a starship captain, after all.  
  
  
**  
  
He was going to ask Spock about it. He really was. Unfortunately he didn’t have a chance, because they were both on the shift and after that Kirk just had so many reports to write and so many things to consider that he absolutely couldn’t find the time to ask Spock about the story. And maybe he was a bit nervous, too, but that was only because he knew how uncomfortable talking about sex made Spock feel.  
  
When he had managed to put the conversation off for thirty-four hours, Spock asked him if he might wish to play a round of chess. Of course he said yes, although it was a bit curious that Spock didn’t seem to want to look him in the eyes. But they would be alright. They would spend a nice, perfectly normal evening together in Kirk’s private quarters. He wouldn’t mention the smut situation and perhaps they’d both forget that anything like that had ever occurred.  
  
“So,” he said when he had won the first round and Spock still seemed oddly interested in the walls of his quarters, “that smut situation.”  
  
Spock glanced at him like he had just said something utterly incomprehensible and then quickly drew his gaze away.  
  
“Mr. Spock,” he continued, because he was a starship captain and therefore accustomed to getting through what he had started even if it made his knees shake just a little, “Uhura mentioned that you had something like three seconds to read the story before you, quite correctly, shut the screen down.”  
  
“Three point one seconds, sir,” Spock said.  
  
“Three point one seconds,” Kirk corrected and nodded at his first officer. “You’re a very fast reader, Mr. Spock.”  
  
“Affirmative,” Spock said. He sounded surprisingly unhappy for a Vulcan, almost like he had known what direction the conversation would head to.  
  
“I was just wondering,” Kirk said and tried to look at Spock as gently as he could, because surely this would be difficult for Spock who probably didn’t think about sex at all, or perhaps only every seven years, “if you might remember what was written in it.”  
  
“Captain,” Spock said. His eyes had gone quite wide.  
  
Kirk smiled as friendly and attractively as he could. This smile surely worked with everyone else, but Spock seemed to be immune to it, since he was still just staring at Kirk. “If you might kindly describe the scene that you read in that story, Mr. Spock?”  
  
“You wish me to tell you what occurred in the fiction in question,” Spock said and cleared his throat, which was a bit worrying so Kirk smiled still a bit more warmly, just in case, “between the fictional version of you and the… narrator.”  
  
“Yes,” Kirk said. “Go ahead, Spock.”  
  
Spock shifted in his chair and then finally answered Kirk’s gaze. He looked like someone who had decided there was nothing to be done and no way to escape the inevitable.  
  
“I believe that in the beginning of the said scene,” Spock began, “in the said story, which, may I remind you, is purely fictional, you were… positioned on the bed. Your own bed, to be precise. You were lying on your back. Your state of clothing was… compromised, since you were wearing only your uniform shirt but no… no…”  
  
“Yes?” Kirk said as gently as he could.  
  
“No pants,” Spock said. He looked as though he was utterly suffering. “And no underpants. Furthermore, your socks and boots had been removed.”  
  
“Thank you,” Kirk said, “I think I get the picture. Please, go on.”  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow that seemed a bit unsteady.  
  
“What happened then?”  
  
“Oh,” Spock said. If Kirk hadn’t known better, he would have thought Spock was holding his breath, but that would have been utterly illogical. “You were being caressed. This other… person… was, I believe, holding your hands above your head. He had a quite tight grip on your wrists, Captain, but not tight enough to harm you. And his other hand was placed onto your chest for two point four seconds until he began moving it again.”  
  
“Okay,” Kirk said slowly. The story already sounded intensely intimate. It was very fortunate for him that only Spock and Uhura had had a chance to see it, besides the person who had written it, of course. “So, what then?”  
  
“I believe he touched your…”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Your genitals.”  
  
Kirk blushed and then cursed under his breath. It had been quite clear where the story was going. He shouldn’t have been surprised. “Really?”  
  
“Yes,” Spock said in an oddly low voice. “I believe he placed his palm onto your… male organ.”  
  
“My male organ, Mr. Spock?”  
  
“Yes,” Spock said, “surely you do not require further clarification?”  
  
“No. So, he was… he was touching my…”  
  
“He was trying to cause you pleasure of a rather sexual nature by stimulating your genital area with his hand,” Spock said very quietly, “and I believe he succeeded. You were responding.”  
  
“Good,” Kirk said and then frowned. “It’s good to know what happened in the story. So, is that when you shut the screen down?”  
  
“Excuse me?” Spock said and then blinked several times. “Affirmative. Yes. You are correct, Captain.”  
  
“Just call me Jim,” Kirk said, “since we’re talking about my fictional sex life.”  
  
“Jim,” Spock said and then closed his mouth like there was nothing more he could say. Spock’s eyes were still oddly wide and Kirk was pretty sure he was still a bit blushed himself, so he decided it was probably good for them both to talk about something else for a while. He asked Spock’s opinion on the Alpha II mission that Starfleet had just informed them about, and in fifteen minutes he had almost forgotten what they had talked about earlier.  
  
He had already wished Spock good night and was walking his first officer to the bathroom that separated their quarters, when he realized there was something a bit surprising in what Spock had told him about the story.  
  
“You said _he,_ ” he said.  
  
Spock raised a reassuringly calm eyebrow at him. “Please, specify.”  
  
“When you told me about the story,” Kirk said, and surely Spock was holding his breath this time, illogical or not. “You said it was a _he_ who was… having sex with me. But Uhura said she couldn’t figure out if it was a man or a woman.”  
  
Spock swallowed.  
  
“But I guess you just read much more of it than she did,” Kirk said. “You really are a fast reader, Mr. Spock.”  
  
“Thank you, Captain,” Spock said in that oddly thin voice. Perhaps Spock was tired and just too polite to say that he wished to go to sleep.  
  
Kirk placed his hand on his first officer’s shoulder for a few seconds, just to show him how much he appreciated his company and his willingness to talk about fictional sex with his captain when the situation demanded it. Spock seemed still a bit shaken.  
  
  
**  
  
  
At first Kirk thought he was imagining things. It wouldn’t have been the first time that he thought people were watching him when they actually weren’t. But then he realized that everywhere he went, his crew stopped talking immediately, which by itself wasn’t too weird but only an uncomfortable side-effect of being the captain. But everyone blushed when they saw him, too. When his shift ended, he walked straight to Uhura and asked if he might have a private word with the lieutenant.  
  
“Everyone is watching me,” he said when they were in the turbolift. Surely Uhura would tell him that he was being paranoid and he would have to assure the lieutenant that he wasn’t.  
  
“Yes,” Uhura said, “sir.”  
  
“Oh, fucking hell,” he said and bit his lip. “Why’re they watching me?”  
  
“I suppose this conversation is slightly off the record, sir.”  
  
“Slightly,” he said, “definitely. Just tell me.”  
  
“It’s kind of my fault, sir.”  
  
He sighed. Uhura looked at him. At least she wasn’t winking at him this time.  
  
“I tried to find the story because, you know, you seemed so concerned about what exactly was in it. It took a lot of trying and I had to ask Lieutenant Waters from Information Sciences to help me, but finally we picked it up from the working memory of the central computer.”  
  
“Okay,” he said slowly. “And you read it so that you could answer my questions more correctly.”  
  
“Yes,” Uhura said, “but we also kind of forgot to hide it properly.”  
  
He blinked. “So, everyone has read it by now.”  
  
“Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.”  
  
He sighed. “It’s just a story. I shouldn’t have asked so many questions about it anyway. Can you and Lieutenant Waters at least hide it so that people stop reading it?”  
  
“Captain,” Uhura said almost softly, “the story has been a… lively topic of conversation today. I believe that many people have saved it to their personal computer memories.”  
  
Kirk swallowed.  
  
“Look at the positive side, sir,” Uhura said, as the doors of the turbolift opened and Kirk prepared to walk to his own quarters and stay there. “You can easily find the story now that it’s all over the computer system. It’s titled _Jim and Myself #28._ And it’s well written. You should probably read it.”  
  
  
**  
  
  
He found _Jim and Myself #28_ quite easily, just as Uhura had promised. After he read the story once, he went to the sickbay and had a rather awkward conversation with Bones, who also had read the story. Bones told him that the story was the oddest piece of fiction he had ever read, which seemed strangely positive. Kirk said he was glad that Bones liked the story and Bones told him he was out of his mind, patted him on the shoulder and cleared his throat a few times. As Kirk walked back to his quarters, he almost felt like Bones had just approved of his new boyfriend, but there was no new boyfriend waiting for him in his room, only _Jim and Myself #28_ still lingering on the screen. He read it again.  
  
Spock had been right. Of course Spock had been right, because Spock was always right, about everything and everyone. The narrator in the story, this fictional person who had pretty intense sex with fictional Kirk, was male. It wasn’t _that_ obvious, though, and actually Kirk was a bit surprised that Spock had been able to figure out it, having only had three point one seconds to read the story. But when things went on a bit further, it was pretty clear that Kirk was having sex with someone who had the usual reproductive organs of a male, since there was a lot of almost scientifically exact descriptions of who did what to whom and what kind of physiological reaction was occurring. But it was also sweet, and very gentle like Spock had said, though Kirk’s fictional lover seemed to be quite strong, too. When Kirk had finished reading the story the second time, he realized he was absently massaging his wrists that had been held quite tightly. In the story. During fictional sex that hadn’t actually happened for real. He frowned and then pushed his pants and underpants to his ankles and read the best parts of the story once more.  
  
Afterwards he took a quick shower and felt a bit embarrassed but well, the story was about him. He was kind of wanking to himself, which wasn’t ideal but he wasn’t really harming anyone by doing it. This was probably what Bones meant by _safe sex.  
  
_  
**  
  
  
“I read it,” he told Spock the next day as the two of them were playing chess in Kirk’s quarters.  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow.  
  
“ _Jim and Myself #28_ ,” Kirk said and pulled his shoulders back. “I read it. It’s really quite good.”  
  
“It is?” Spock asked in a somewhat hoarse voice. Kirk sincerely hoped his first officer hadn’t caught a cold. He really wanted Spock to accompany him on planet 23A II the next day.  
  
“Yes,” he said, wondering what his next move should be. Spock was going to win this round unless he did something about it. “You should read it, Spock.”  
  
“I should?”  
  
“Sorry,” he said when he realized what he had just proposed, “of course you don’t need to read it. I was just making conversation.”  
  
“ _Conversation?_ ”  
  
“Are you alright, Spock? You seem to be repeating everything I say.”  
  
Spock straightened his back but kept staring at him with a look that wasn’t very Vulcan but rather… a bit emotional. “I apologize, sir.”  
  
“It’s Jim to you, Mr. Spock,” he said, “especially when we’re alone. And there’s no reason to apologize. _I_ should apologize. Sex isn’t really your thing and here I am, suggesting that you should read erotic fiction.”  
  
He stared at the chess table. Spock didn’t answer him, but that wasn’t really a surprise, because sex had been mentioned. He should probably talk about something else soon, but first he would figure out his next move.  
  
“It was really fascinating,” he said and then frowned, because surely he hadn’t meant to say that, but Spock was watching him and listening to him and well, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to discuss this a bit further. “The story, I mean. It was so… exact in some points. I felt like whoever wrote it really gave it some thought. A few times there was an exact amount of time mentioned, or how many inches his hand moved or something like that. Maybe that’s why I thought you might like it, Spock, because that’s kind of your thing. I remember when I came to his hand and closed my eyes for eight point five seconds.”  
  
“Eight point six,” Spock said.  
  
“Very well,” Kirk said. “But at the same time it was all so gentle. I mean, the sex wasn’t always gentle, and I think he held me quite tightly a few times, but still it felt almost like he only thought of what _I_ would like, not his own needs at all. It was written almost like he was in love with me. And I surely was in love with him. I seemed to totally trust him, almost like I trust you. And I haven’t really experienced that in romantic relationships. So reading it was pretty intense.”  
  
“You truly read it,” Spock said. He sounded like he had the flu.  
  
“Twice,” Kirk said, “and then some parts again when I was… but you don’t want to know that, Spock.”  
  
“Jim,” Spock said, his eyes staring at Kirk for a few seconds until they fell onto the chess board again.  
  
“You’re right, we should play. I just can’t remember what I was planning to do. And, you know, I really would like to know who the writer is, even though I realize it’s not logical. But the story was so… weirdly intimate. I can’t believe that someone who doesn’t really know me could write something like that. But I guess the only two people who know me well enough are you and Bones and I’m pretty sure Bones didn’t write it, so there we go. It’s probably just some new crewman who has a crush on me and who really knows how to write his smut.”  
  
“It is not,” Spock said.  
  
“And I was wondering about the story’s name,” Kirk said, “the _#28_ in it. Do you suppose he’s written other stories as well?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Yes?” Kirk said and smiled. Spock wasn’t looking at him, but well, it had been a long day. “Are you making a guess, Mr. Spock?”  
  
“Vulcans do not guess, Captain,” Spock said and met his eyes.  
  
Kirk swallowed. There was something in Spock’s gaze and maybe something in their conversation that he should have reconsidered. It was almost like he had just missed something important. He tried to figure out what it was but Spock had only been answering his wonderings in his logical way. And Spock wasn’t really helping him now, just sitting very still and watching him. Actually Spock was _really_ watching him, as if there was something in Kirk he was looking for but wasn’t sure he could find.  
  
“Spock?” Kirk said finally, when neither of them had moved an inch for at least three minutes and his left leg was slowly going numb.  
  
“It seems that I have neglected to inform you about my,” Spock said in a frighteningly steady voice, “hobby.”  
  
“Your hobby,” Kirk said.  
  
“You may be aware that I have in some cases shown some mild interest in poetry,” Spock said. “It is not something that I willingly pronounce in public, since poetry is somewhat illogical by its nature and therefore enjoying it might conflict with the image the crew has of me. However, as I believe you and I have reached a state which humans call _friendship_ , I believe it is culturally appropriate that I share this information with you.”  
  
“Of course,” Kirk said. He was holding his breath even though he didn’t know why. They were only talking about poetry and Spock’s hobbies, which of course was a bit weird, because he had kind of thought _he_ was Spock’s only hobby. “You can tell me anything, Spock.”  
  
“Very well, Jim,” Spock said and seemed to draw a deep breath, “I believe I will now engage in the act of doing exactly what you just proposed. Besides occasionally enjoying poetry, I have done some fictional writing myself.”  
  
“You write poems?”  
  
“No, Jim,” Spock said, “not poems.”  
  
Kirk opened his mouth and then closed it again. Spock sighed very deeply.  
  
“I write what might be called adult fiction,” Spock said, staring at his eyes, his whole body unmoving like he was frozen in place, “or, rather inaccurately, _smut._ ”  
  
Kirk blinked.  
  
“I apologize,” Spock said.  
  
“For what?” Kirk said. His pulse had suddenly increased and he was sweating badly in his uniform shirt.  
  
“I wrote _Jim and Myself #28_ ,” Spock said, “which is a short story that belongs to a series of… short stories of a similar kind. The latest is _Jim and Myself #51._ ”  
  
Kirk was pretty sure he was trying to swear but he couldn’t make his voice work at the moment.  
  
“I am very pleased to hear that you enjoyed the story,” Spock said in a flat tone. “Also, you are correct in your evaluation that the narrator, despite being physically much stronger than yourself, is trying to apply all the gentleness he can in order to please your person as greatly as possible. However, I believe that exact balance is discussed better in a few of the later works in the series. The paradox of your soft and fragile human body and the strength it nevertheless contains is one of the main themes.”  
  
“Spock,” Kirk said. His voice was hoarse. It probably wasn’t due to catching a cold.  
  
“It is my wish that if there is something dislikable in the story, you would consider providing me with constructive criticism. Because of the nature of my fictional works, I tend to avoid letting anyone but myself read them. Therefore, your feedback may be very valuable.”  
  
“Spock.”  
  
Spock opened his mouth, but Kirk grabbed his palm over the table before he could say anything. Spock’s breathing was unsteady and hasty and his eyes seemed to be locked into Kirk's. He looked like he had just jumped off the building and was now rather curious to find out whether he was still alive or not.  
  
“Spock,” Kirk said and squeezed Spock’s hand slightly. “I absolutely loved your story. If there’s more, I’d like to read them all.”  
  
“Very well, sir,” Spock said with a very quiet voice, “I believe that is acceptable.”  
  
“But like I said, I kind of felt it was personal. It was almost like you were in love with me.”  
  
Spock watched him and he watched Spock and wondered how the hell he had failed to notice this, whatever _this_ was.  
  
“Spock,” he said, “are you in love with me?”  
  
“Affirmative,” Spock said, “Jim. I believe I am.”  
  
“Well, then,” Kirk said, “I can’t say that I saw this coming, but now that we’re here, I have to admit that I’m very happy you wrote that story. And I’m pretty sure you’ll be gentle with me even with your superior physical strength. Just remember that I’m going to try to please you as well, Mr. Spock.”  
  
“Captain,” Spock said and squeezed his hand.  
  
“Yes,” he said. “I know you’ve probably had pretty imaginative images about the two of us in your head, Mr. Spock, but since I’m just a starship captain and not a writer, I’ll have to propose something quite straightforward for us to start with. If I now stood up, walked over there and kissed you, would you find it acceptable?”  
  
“Yes,” Spock said.

**Author's Note:**

> You can say hi to me on [tumblr](http://toyhto.tumblr.com)!


End file.
